many many many many thoughts, and memories consumed my yesterday, as well as family i havent seen in years or havent seen EVER.
yesterday early morning, my brother and i drove back to our lovely home, frankfort, for our grandma's funeral (our last gparent, mom's mom). wednesday, my brother cody calls telling me mom came home from work about 3:30 and walked in on grandma lying flat on the kitchen floor with head bleeding and not breathing. come to find out, she experienced a brain hemmorage, fell back, hit her head (hence the bleeding) and we think we lost her at home. also she had probably been lying there for approximately 3 hours. i was not that close to my grandmother, but i loved the poo outta that crazy old woman.
it was my mom that just literallly broke me. i mean she is 60 and...walk in from her 12 hour shift at Frito-Lay to that...:-(
her voice on the phone...she has always been strong for EVERYONE, never showing her fears or insecurities. first her dad dies, then she loses her husband, now her mother. i mean granted there are far worse things that one could go through and has already...but its my mom....i love her...if i walked in on my mother just lying there bleeding...but the thing is, i have not.
when cody and i were driving back home i had a little, shall i say movie moment flash back of when cody and i were driving to go see dad in the hospital right before he died. my brother and i...man we fight like crazy, but he has been there for so much. even saying that line "been there for so much" doesnt come close to explaining how vital he has been in my life. he has been my big,strong, and strapping popular football star brother; my teacher; my best friend; my creative and talented media brother; my dad; my hero; my enemy; my blessing.
YUP, ALL IN ONE! he is pretty cool i must say. so i love him. a lot actually. at the end of the night after all is screamed and done...i wouldnt have it any other way. PLUS i mean kristin elizabeth ponce fell in love with him, so he had to be doin' something right ;-)
another thought i had revolved around the song they played at granny's funeral - louis armstrong, what a wonderful world...
i guess it was granny's favorite song, which was really cool b/c my dad and brothers all love louis. the pastor, God Bless his heart, he read EVERYTHING...EVEN THE "ACCEPTING JESUS PRAYER". ya know the ones you repeat after..YEAH...I LOVE GCC.
bringing me to my next reflection...how much God has done for me through Granger Community Church (and Cody and Kristin for opening up their home rent free). MERGE, LIFELINE: CAMP ADVENTURE, MOVE, MEXICO, CAMP ADVENTURE...THE PEOPLE...COREY MANN (HIS ENTIRE FAMILY), JOHNNY AND ANGELA KEIM!, DC AND BROOKE, TED BRYANT AND FAMILY, MARK AND SHEILA BEESON...I MEAN COME ON! My job here, AND THE KIDS i meet because of the opportunities LIFELINE offers and create and MAKE HAPPEN...AND ALL US YOUNG BUCKS from MERGE...its spectacular.
I love GOD. I LOVE WHAT HE IS SETTING IN FRONT OF ME DAILY...i might not act like it i may even HATE it in the moment, but i know GOD will never let me take on anything i couldnt handle.
...and i think to myself, what a wonderful world.
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
Sunday, July 1, 2007
batman's robin...the ego we don't acknowledge as "ego"
i did watch the cartoon batman when i was younger often...this is true, but that's it. i don't even know the whole story i do know this...rich man with butler develops a large obsession with bats, so larrge that he dresses as one and goes about Gotham City saving it from its nasty and evil peguins, clowns, and mayors.
it goes without saying he was a hunk, but i also had a little thing for robin. i think it was because he wasn't heard of much ...and he was younger, closer to my age ;-). i kinda looked at him as batman's annoying little brother that also had an obsession with a winged creature (hence the name robin), so batty decided to take lil rob in for personal benefit.
i wonder now how much crap robin dealt with...or more so didnt deal with. i mean he was kinda like batman's slave. it seems its like that with most sidekicks....
sidekick...the title/position just does not sound like fun, let alone the actual motion (get it, a kick to the side...yeah i kinda regret typing it now, but not enough to hit backspace 294790374 times)
anywho, i bet robin or any other character in the shadow of guys like batman regularly experienced some bitterness and anger which could have developed into quite the ego, but they probably didnt recognize it as an ego. think about it, batman takes on joker while robins at him delivering papers or whatnot because he has his own responsibilities or just watches batty simply because it's too dangerous. OR there was one episode i remember where, i kid you not robin just stood there while batman was fighting some mugger in an alley. even if the poor kid wanted more than anything to jump in and save a life, batty was too busy usin' his muscles.
lets say a reporter got an interview with both rob and bat...all that being talked about is batman and his courageous heart with his witty moves and sexy backhand springs which requires his 8 pack...anyway and robin sits there thinking "what about the time i went back to the cove and GOT the weapons BATMAN NEEDED because he forgot them...or the time he had to fight lex's gang of 10 and then i showed up- HE NEEDED ME"....and then the reporter says "hey rob! if i didnt know any better i'd say you have an ego!" robin would probably give batman the look/signal to kick his arse simply because 1. he takes pride in knowing and serving along side batman; 2. who wants to admit they have an ego!!!; and 3. he just wants people to know he can do things on his own and that he isnt some young irresponsible kid.
hah oh my mind and thoughts are ridiculous i KNOW but think about it: how many times have we been like HEY GOD, I CAN HANDLE IT...dont worry about me go save other people more threatening and worse off than me...i'm oka,y really. WATCH!IN FACT HERE I GO WITHOUT YOUR BLESSING OR WITHOUT SEARCHING FOR AN OK...and then BAM we got ourselves an ego and didnt even know it.
i want to be robin to God. i want to serve next to Him and feel like i am and trust i take pride in our GOD, but sometimes i forget that i cant handle ANYTHING ON MY OWN. NOTHING..it's all God. He gets me through it all. i am young and i am irresponsible, but i can DO things and do them well, BUT BUT BUT ONLY BECAUSE I SEEK, LOVE, AND TRUST IN GOD.
sidenote: camp adventure week 2 is exactly a week from today! and i have MUCH to blog about concerning the last 2 weeks of my life (CAMP ADVENTURE WEEK ONE and MOVE 07)
it goes without saying he was a hunk, but i also had a little thing for robin. i think it was because he wasn't heard of much ...and he was younger, closer to my age ;-). i kinda looked at him as batman's annoying little brother that also had an obsession with a winged creature (hence the name robin), so batty decided to take lil rob in for personal benefit.
i wonder now how much crap robin dealt with...or more so didnt deal with. i mean he was kinda like batman's slave. it seems its like that with most sidekicks....
sidekick...the title/position just does not sound like fun, let alone the actual motion (get it, a kick to the side...yeah i kinda regret typing it now, but not enough to hit backspace 294790374 times)
anywho, i bet robin or any other character in the shadow of guys like batman regularly experienced some bitterness and anger which could have developed into quite the ego, but they probably didnt recognize it as an ego. think about it, batman takes on joker while robins at him delivering papers or whatnot because he has his own responsibilities or just watches batty simply because it's too dangerous. OR there was one episode i remember where, i kid you not robin just stood there while batman was fighting some mugger in an alley. even if the poor kid wanted more than anything to jump in and save a life, batty was too busy usin' his muscles.
lets say a reporter got an interview with both rob and bat...all that being talked about is batman and his courageous heart with his witty moves and sexy backhand springs which requires his 8 pack...anyway and robin sits there thinking "what about the time i went back to the cove and GOT the weapons BATMAN NEEDED because he forgot them...or the time he had to fight lex's gang of 10 and then i showed up- HE NEEDED ME"....and then the reporter says "hey rob! if i didnt know any better i'd say you have an ego!" robin would probably give batman the look/signal to kick his arse simply because 1. he takes pride in knowing and serving along side batman; 2. who wants to admit they have an ego!!!; and 3. he just wants people to know he can do things on his own and that he isnt some young irresponsible kid.
hah oh my mind and thoughts are ridiculous i KNOW but think about it: how many times have we been like HEY GOD, I CAN HANDLE IT...dont worry about me go save other people more threatening and worse off than me...i'm oka,y really. WATCH!IN FACT HERE I GO WITHOUT YOUR BLESSING OR WITHOUT SEARCHING FOR AN OK...and then BAM we got ourselves an ego and didnt even know it.
i want to be robin to God. i want to serve next to Him and feel like i am and trust i take pride in our GOD, but sometimes i forget that i cant handle ANYTHING ON MY OWN. NOTHING..it's all God. He gets me through it all. i am young and i am irresponsible, but i can DO things and do them well, BUT BUT BUT ONLY BECAUSE I SEEK, LOVE, AND TRUST IN GOD.
sidenote: camp adventure week 2 is exactly a week from today! and i have MUCH to blog about concerning the last 2 weeks of my life (CAMP ADVENTURE WEEK ONE and MOVE 07)
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