i see skies of blue, clouds of white...

many many many many thoughts, and memories consumed my yesterday, as well as family i havent seen in years or havent seen EVER.

yesterday early morning, my brother and i drove back to our lovely home, frankfort, for our grandma's funeral (our last gparent, mom's mom). wednesday, my brother cody calls telling me mom came home from work about 3:30 and walked in on grandma lying flat on the kitchen floor with head bleeding and not breathing. come to find out, she experienced a brain hemmorage, fell back, hit her head (hence the bleeding) and we think we lost her at home. also she had probably been lying there for approximately 3 hours. i was not that close to my grandmother, but i loved the poo outta that crazy old woman.

it was my mom that just literallly broke me. i mean she is 60 and...walk in from her 12 hour shift at Frito-Lay to that...:-(
her voice on the phone...she has always been strong for EVERYONE, never showing her fears or insecurities. first her dad dies, then she loses her husband, now her mother. i mean granted there are far worse things that one could go through and has already...but its my mom....i love her...if i walked in on my mother just lying there bleeding...but the thing is, i have not.

when cody and i were driving back home i had a little, shall i say movie moment flash back of when cody and i were driving to go see dad in the hospital right before he died. my brother and i...man we fight like crazy, but he has been there for so much. even saying that line "been there for so much" doesnt come close to explaining how vital he has been in my life. he has been my big,strong, and strapping popular football star brother; my teacher; my best friend; my creative and talented media brother; my dad; my hero; my enemy; my blessing.
YUP, ALL IN ONE! he is pretty cool i must say. so i love him. a lot actually. at the end of the night after all is screamed and done...i wouldnt have it any other way. PLUS i mean kristin elizabeth ponce fell in love with him, so he had to be doin' something right ;-)

another thought i had revolved around the song they played at granny's funeral - louis armstrong, what a wonderful world...
i guess it was granny's favorite song, which was really cool b/c my dad and brothers all love louis. the pastor, God Bless his heart, he read EVERYTHING...EVEN THE "ACCEPTING JESUS PRAYER". ya know the ones you repeat after..YEAH...I LOVE GCC.

bringing me to my next reflection...how much God has done for me through Granger Community Church (and Cody and Kristin for opening up their home rent free). MERGE, LIFELINE: CAMP ADVENTURE, MOVE, MEXICO, CAMP ADVENTURE...THE PEOPLE...COREY MANN (HIS ENTIRE FAMILY), JOHNNY AND ANGELA KEIM!, DC AND BROOKE, TED BRYANT AND FAMILY, MARK AND SHEILA BEESON...I MEAN COME ON! My job here, AND THE KIDS i meet because of the opportunities LIFELINE offers and create and MAKE HAPPEN...AND ALL US YOUNG BUCKS from MERGE...its spectacular.

I love GOD. I LOVE WHAT HE IS SETTING IN FRONT OF ME DAILY...i might not act like it i may even HATE it in the moment, but i know GOD will never let me take on anything i couldnt handle.

...and i think to myself, what a wonderful world.