BIG MOMENT = SMALL MOMENTS

When I think about my future, I wonder where I'll be, then I make that my life. My mentality then becomes "When the big moment happens then life can be lived, it can start." As time goes on I only see Im getting older. HAHAHAHAHAH okay so Im 21 but I see how fast life HAS BEEN going and am fully aware its only going to speed up.
Celebration, optimisim and hope is necessary in the chaotic distructive world.

Isaiah 61
1-7 The Spirit of God, the Master, is on me because God anointed me.
He sent me to preach good news to the poor,
heal the heartbroken,
Announce freedom to all captives,
pardon all prisoners.
God sent me to announce the year of his grace—
a celebration of God's destruction of our enemies—
and to comfort all who mourn,
To care for the needs of all who mourn in Zion,
give them bouquets of roses instead of ashes,
Messages of joy instead of news of doom,
a praising heart instead of a languid spirit.
Rename them "Oaks of Righteousness"
planted by God to display his glory.
They'll rebuild the old ruins,
raise a new city out of the wreckage.
They'll start over on the ruined cities,
take the rubble left behind and make it new.
You'll hire outsiders to herd your flocks
and foreigners to work your fields,
But you'll have the title "Priests of God,"
honored as ministers of our God.
You'll feast on the bounty of nations,
you'll bask in their glory.
Because you got a double dose of trouble
and more than your share of contempt,
Your inheritance in the land will be doubled
and your joy go on forever.
8-9"Because I, God, love fair dealing
and hate thievery and crime,
I'll pay your wages on time and in full,
and establish my eternal covenant with you.
Your descendants will become well-known all over.
Your children in foreign countries
Will be recognized at once
as the people I have blessed."

10-11I will sing for joy in God,
explode in praise from deep in my soul!
He dressed me up in a suit of salvation,
he outfitted me in a robe of righteousness,
As a bridegroom who puts on a tuxedo
and a bride a jeweled tiara.
For as the earth bursts with spring wildflowers,
and as a garden cascades with blossoms,
So the Master, God, brings righteousness into full bloom
and puts praise on display before the nations.

I have been feeling like a prisoner to my anger, bitterness, fear, and insecurities when I'M NOT and God is promising me so much more. When we choose to be a better person for God, we start to see Him when before all we saw was a street, someone crying, or just another stranger.

Sometimes in our life, we get our hearts ABSOLUTELY BROKEN. Initially we want a heart of stone so that we can NEVER feel that kind of pain, NEVER come close to reaching that level of pain EVER again. BUT what I often fail to remember and truly believe from day to day in the midst of my of "my wilderness" is that God restores my soul. THEN He creates in ME a new heart.
When we reach this part in our life there are two pivotal points we come across:
1. we can either let it strip us down to the bone and allow is to be who God intended
2. let it take over our self conrtol and be the reason why we behave poorly

If we choose the first road, God shows us how close He is and much He loves us. HE JUST WANTS OUR HEARTS!!!

** God's kindness burns even through the deepest betrayal.

Another thought: Curses can be blessings. I know you have heard it before, but I can sometimes tmiss the blessing because i get so STUCK in MY curse. Tragedy can become epic. Wrong can become my beautiful right. There is beauty in the wilderness, but I have to be careful not to push it away because I want the dark and familiar, because I want to hold onto the feeling of being victimized.
So here's a question for ya: what is my reason for not being able to grow and move on?.....what would my life look like if I let that reason go? When it comes down to it, whether I feel like I have nothing to hold onto or I'm blessed beyond all measure, I have a bag of gold. It's a gift from God. What am I going to do with it?
God is really asking that I invest in this life of suffering and heartache to receive Him, to NOT wait and miss out.

So about those big moments mentioned earlier....they are really just the everyday small moments such as showing forgiveness abd grace, trusting God, loving others....I MAKE THE BIG MOMENT. That's what I have been missing - I MAKE IT! I shouldnt be waititng for it. The big moment is waiting on me- to move, pull off the masks, abd live it- live life.

think. pray. listen.

This is my life, my gift from the Holy God.